Damn! Idiots and fools and crooks and bastards and angels are everywhere. Perception in the moment, or worse, reputation, will define them. We are given to calling behaviors by name, and we can tend to paint the canvas, the entire person, with one color. We are not readily persuaded that a person can change, that only one square inch of the many square yards of a person's life does not color, contaminate, make or mark the person for life. Because he once thieved he will do it again. Because he once betrayed, she learns not to trust anyone. Because I once killed, i fear I could kill again. Because I once loved, I have learnt never to give my heart away again. Never! And so on. Very many of us like the idea of going somewhere and starting all over again, where no one knows us; others of us do not entertain the notion at all. I am who I am, Popeye the sailor man! Morons!
Sameness is our quotidian nemesis. Generally (research would have it) we are Daily Beings rather than Conscious Becomings. Tradition predominates. Champagne needs this glass, beer that. Red wine goblets are distinct from white. Fish knives and steak knives and butter knives have a purpose; don't mix them. And God forbid that the extra place setting be different from the rest, unless made extra special for the extra special guest. Emotions dictate. Not that preferences be construed as innately wrong, but strict adherence to and discomfort with any tradition, on the one hand, or on the other hand, can create great discomfort. As Tevye put it, "If I bend too far, I will break!" Fish need...
Disintegration requires, in order for us to be at ease with it, a willingness to adapt. We are given to discomfort with the process when we climb a peak to get a better view; we know that the outcome may be worth it, if only the weather will be clear. But should the change expected or foisted upon us be perceived as negative, as in fired from a job, or the victim of an accident, or being forced to relocate, the disintegration from what was is difficult to accept as positive. Dabrowski's Positive Disintegration Theory is an actuality.
Kohlberg has it that we are differentiated according to a moral or ethical sensibility to the habits we engender from sensibilities around us. Eight stages enliven his challenge.
Erikson has it that eight chronological and psychosocial developments need 'mastery', as contained by the habituations within each. Undeveloped virtues remain challenges.
Clare Graves envisions Nine Memes of progression, enlivened by non-integrative and integrative predominances, the first six Memes of First Tier, the next three Second Tier.
Maslow and Bloom and Gregoric and JoHari and Delinger and de Bono and Anagram Theory too will add to the meanings of mankind, provide tools to check into our thinking, our habits, our wonts and wants. Or not. The vast majority of us are too preoccupied with the misfortunes of surviving, or involved in the struggles of succeeding (however we may see those terms) for us to be engaged in being consistently aware of degrees of integration. Easier to react and to predicate immediate behavior on precedence afore thought. The paradox of letting go in order more entirely to accept all of everything just As IS is not readily managed. We are creatures affected by the effects of mankind, of nature, of The Gods, and of ourselves. Then again, my dear, as the saying goes when it gets inordinately tough, who gives a damn? Really? Well, who do you think you are?