The huge compass at my feet shows great distances between us.
(Very many of my friends live a long-long way away.) From my perch above the
compass in the Victoria Mall, on Vancouver Island, I've watched the direction
finder grow, the marble tiles being cemented in by workers who likely also came
from other countries. Canada is a very cosmopolitan place. Furthest from here
is South Africa's Johannesburg, at 16,534 kilometres, to be precise. Brisbane
is 11,797 km away, while London is a mere 7,673. But the distance to be
journeyed is never a straight string.
There are some friends who may as well be millions of miles away,
though they actually live quite close. It matters not the geographical
proximity. One of my dear friends travels extensively, roaming the globe, but
though I be affixed to one spot we retain communicative connection such that
time and miles does not diminish the sense of camaraderie. Then there are
others I've not seen or heard from in years, yet I know a moment's glance will
suffice to reconnect the essence of who we are, and why we like each other.
But what is it that so divides people from liking each other,
that makes of our world such a thorny nest of contentions? Why do we bicker so
among political parties? Why do we fragment and divide and marginalize and
negatively judge and dismissively evaluate and feel so caustic and abrasive and
even hateful toward others? As the song goes, "Why can't we be
friends?"
It's a naive question. The shame-based and the fear-based and the
needy and the care-worn, and the underprivileged and the envious and the
jealous and the vulgar and the filthy and the unappreciative and the... Whew!
There are a lot of negatives one can bring to the fore. We are so quick to see
any feathers differing from our own. Habits of speech and dress and style of
comportment and levels of education are all complicit in our adjustments. It is
natural not to feel comfortable when someone opposite us has crumbs trembling
on their chin. It takes a great sense of caring integration just to allow
something to remain to be. Ever shaken a leper's hand?
Among the many Models of Mankind there is a striking similarity
in their divisions of the human condition. At large we fall into hierarchical
tiers or rungs of development. We tend to operate from all tiers (some rungs
minimally), but we predominantly operate from a single Set of Habits. Within a
given tier or rung of a Habit Set we each have different personalities and
proclivities. For instance, a person may be a level five and be a square who is
diametrically opposed to a triangle at the same Habit tier. What of a squiggle
in level six being opposed to a circle in level two? All shapes and styles
apply. Added to such a divisive perception of mankind is that there is tension
and contention betwixt all big and small layers, ranging in severity from an
outright declaration of racism to subtle distinctions of disparagement of all
things “not quite acceptable.”
Ease and facility with friendship, genuine unconditional
friendship, is a treasured thing. So very much of ‘conditions’
are determined by longevity, proximity, and circumstance. Being stuck in an
elevator with a colleague over 36 hours, where there was even dislike to begin
with, might just bring about real compassion once the stories have been
swapped, and the unavoidable body functions are accepted, but it also can go
the other way round. There be a certain magic in a friendship that is based on
ephemeral qualities of commensurate recognition; some things are list-able;
some, as Sancho sings, are simply that "I like him! I really like
him!" There are friends I now have that I know I would not have liked as a
boy. And there are friends I once had that I no longer can have. One has only
so many opportunities to keep in touch before there is an end.
Time and distance divides us, "but in our hearts the dreams
still stay the same. Those were the days, my friends, we thought they'd never
end; and now..." we've gone and thrown it all away?
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