My house is filled with light. You can see every
dust speck. From early morning light, especially on sunny days, the light
streams across the dark wooden floors, glistens off the countertops, and
pierces into the crevasses. It all shows the detritus of human living; strands
of hair; bits of lint; fingerprints; footprints; and every tiny crumb. Good
thing I have no wall to wall carpet; the cleaning would never be as frequent! A
good thing my home does not face in the opposite direction, for with the sun at
my back I should be living in my own shadows most of the time, where the dirt
easily lurks. But no, with so much light in my face, and beaming down upon and
into my domicile, I am impelled almost constantly to be cleaning. Or should I
just relax?
Our houses are actually a frequent mess.
Disenfranchised bits lurk everywhere. We fragment at the seams. We drop and
discard and disuse. We purchase anew and abuse. We take things for granted. We
waste. We store and stack and supplant. And we arrange our knick-knacks in a
sensibility of placement and preference unique to ourselves. And yet we all are much the same. We all have a-this and a-that. Even in our histories. (At least, the
most generally privileged among us do: Our richness of materialism can hardly be compared
to the disenfranchised, can hardly be compared to the critical mass of those
without means, without substance, without the necessary articulation in one's
own language, or similarity of skin tones sufficient for our own comparative
compassion.) Huh?
Black lives matter. Blue lives matter. Gay lives
matter. All lives matter! Yet we are hardly hurt when the wave hits "over
there," when it is not our own daughter, son, relative or Race made a
victim of circumstance. If I tell you a friend died, or my parent, or my colleague
or my dog died, you yourself may sympathize with me, because you know me. If
you know the person who died you would empathize even more. And what if the
person was someone on your side of the family? What if it was your pet? What
matters most is that with which we, "I", most identify.
Dirt and mess and spots are the fertilizer of
our pasts. We have learned from our mistakes. And we cannot but help continue
to make a mess, to produce dirt, and to create spots. Our inner and outer
houses are more than the individual domicile of our spirits; they are the
vehicles of our corporeal and collective passage. The deepest of the divisions
occurs in the collective; we cluster in racial and religious and cultural and
political communes, and we point out and discuss the dirt in each other's houses
with an egregious contempt. Dirt's in the idiosyncratic idiolect of the
idolatrous and iconoclastic. It's in our intensity of interpretation, indirect
in its very directness; it is in the living paradox of presumptions and
preference built into walls around us that become the places we live in. Our
physical face and our habitual muscles and our interior plumbing and our
emotional attachments and our mind-bending concepts and our spiritual-spirals
take on not only our persona, but become our character. And in our houses
(especially since the more carefully we look, the more the light reveals,) we
become more and more aware of the ongoing amount of cleaning up we can do, we have
yet to do, and will be doing tomorrow too.
"A life unexamined is hardly worth
living," Socrates purports. Elemental enlightenment would reveal the
unclear, the turgid, the scabs and scars and bad spots. Enlightenment going
beyond the elementary begs yet more anxiety. The more light, the more we see
yet to do. Yet there also is, with the unrelenting clarity of day by day, a
growing consciousness that one can clean, but not be attached to cleaning.
That's elemental. One can love without being needy. That's elemental. One can
care without wanting reward. One can give without the recipient knowing. One
can clear away the detritus and the debris without anyone noticing. All that is
elemental too. (It is in our allowing for a consistent flow of "letting
go" that living is not quite so elementary.) Yet in the light of our day, as well
as in the dark of our sleep, we can continue to scrub away at our past,
individually and even more significantly, collectively, now, and in all our
tomorrows to do. So... Now to relax, yet still to do!
...from one idiosyncratic to another... the interpretation will always be of intensity, with love and respect and appreciation...P-boot
ReplyDeleteThanks, Peter, brother dear! We are indeed kin.
ReplyDelete