Saturday, April 5, 2014

No Noah?



When the dove of peace was first sent out there were those that shot it down. But after enough carrier pigeons had delivered their messages the Groups of Threes answered the summons. Like a parent, offspring, and guiding ghost, the president, vice president, and military commander of each species were got together in one room, the Ark of Radical Revision, and no sooner were all three representatives of all the world's countries inside than the doors were locked! Almost 200 countries in our world made for only 600 people, policy people, and then there were also some international interpreters, approximately 150 (even though there are over 6,000 languages among our species), and they, along with Noah (The Integrative Speaker) as well as the cooks and servants and cleaners, altogether amounted to approximately 1000 and 1. But the only ones allowed one collective vote was each Big Three of a Country, the Prime Minister, the Deputy, and the War Lord. (Other titles were brandished, such as Big Chief, Next in Line, and Sabre Rattler, but you get the gist of it.) And once the doors were locked, that was it! Noah announced: "We do not leave this ark until we have achieved Unanimity: World Peace!"


Meanwhile, all around that ark the people were sworn to go about their business, awaiting the results. No one was permitted to continue to war. No one was permitted to politic (in terms of usurping their absentee leaders). And no one was allowed to claim leadership over the others. All were to lead lives of daily industry that fed, housed, and clothed their ilk, and they were to celebrate their cultural and religious and even political differences. And in the great sea of humanity (although admittedly there were waves of contention and even a few storms of ill dispute) the populace waited impatiently for the results from the ark. They needed their leaders.


Inside the ark tensions were extremely high. Ancient grudges bred anew; especially among the heads of armies. They wanted, cowboy like, to square off against each other with guns on hips. The presidents and prime ministers and big chiefs huffed and puffed. They wanted to claim the numbers of people under them as bargaining chips for a greater portion of the vote, such that if teeny little Andorra was to have one vote, then the Giant Dragon was to have 100, as was The Bear, and The Elephant, and even the Donkey too. So too did the various species begin to feel the pecking order. The proud giraffe and the placid hippopotamus and the wolf and the skunk and the blue jay and even the mosquito all needed to have their apportionments. But Noah was adamant. For each country, in fact, for all three representative of it, there would be only one vote. That's why there were three stake-holders, "because two out of three ain't bad." What do you mean, "bad?", the critters bewailed. "Well," answered Noah, "here's the thing: Not one of us is leaving this ark until we are ascertained. No one is to wage war, nevah, evah! Ever again. It must be in each country's constitution. It must be the central tenant of each triumvirate, and it must be instilled in each culture, top down, and nurtured from birth up. Care for all. And no war!"

Now, you can imagine that the War Heads were not all pleased. In an atmosphere of confused effluvium they pouted and postured and prognosticated. They even borrowed big words! They felt they'd be done out of a job! But with much dialogue they came to realize that Defence of the Realm meant to have an army to assist against all them-thar natural offences against mankind, like hurricanes and landslides and floods. (Men and women could be made proud to serve in that capacity.) And the VP's came to understand that if we did away with all the foreign currency differentiations and border controls and inequality of labour and inequality of education and unfairness of treatment and dismissal of essential human dignity and... Well, all 'that' took a lot and lot of talking! Even the Heads began to wonder what their function might be, but were given to see that the Chosen Representative Role would be one of great honour, as an example of the very best of good will and consideration of one group to another, from ant to aardvark to even the unicorn. And so, eventually, the ark's doors were opened. And everything became different.

Now then, where does one find sufficient carrier pigeons?


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